Best wishes for Assamese New Year and Bihu

No, this is not about what you thought it would be. It has thematic relevance to the headlines though.

It is not about wishing you all a very best Bihu and a New Year en mass, but about how heartless that can be. It is about mindless adoption of economies of scale in large production of a ‘wish’ and the practice of wholesale mass distribution of it to a vague and faceless entity in our mobile phones and email accounts called “all”.

Today is Assamese New Year and Bohag Bihu. I have not replied to any of those hundreds of SMSes carrying the highly impersonal few words wishing me best of everything. I am sure I had received them because I, fortunately, happened to be one of the insignificant constituents of each of my acquaintances’ mobile phones called - all.

Today, I did not send any such SMS either. Nor any e-mail. I never ever did. When our son was borne, my brother-in-law suggested ‘broadcasting’ it with an SMS sent to all my contacts in the mobile phone book. I took three days to individually call and inform all the people whom I thought I should share the news with. I did not have to explain that to anyone then. But, this time I had to give an explanation to my wife. I can jolly well share that with you.

A wish is something that comes from our heart, not head. It is too personal a thing. You share it with only people whom you know, care for and keep close to your heart. I cannot make such a personal emotion so much impersonal by converting it into an SMS and sending it to all. If I have a wish I will take the rather more interpersonal mode of communication called speech.

Above all, I cannot be honest if I do so. How can I have the exactly same wish (and by extension feeling) for all? And if I do send such SMS wishes someday, I would know it is a fake. Please do not reply to such a fake SMS from me and waste your money.
How difficult is it to call and wish someone a happy New Year and Bihu if you really want to? And if you actually do not want to, then why pretend so by sending an SMS?

Moreover, SMS cost you more than talking over phone. The mobile companies are actually fleecing you by charging 50 paise to 3 rupees for each SMS while it costs them not even one paise. They are not happy if you communicate through short speech over phones; but are very happy if you communicate through short messaging service. I am not in a mood to make them happy by loosing my money. And, I hope I will receive less SMS next Puja.

To Nilakshi without malice

Nilakshi Kalita was hurt, read her comment.
It was not intended from my side. I think she did not get me correct, so this is for her - a clarification; without any malice.
I am happy that India won World Cup title. I was happy when India did in 1983 and I will be happy whenever India do it again. I salute sucess. But, I am not happy that the Indian team is selected not by India, but by an association called BCCI.
I am not happy that BCCI is headed by a politician, not a sportsman. I am not happy that Alimuddin (hypothetical) do not get a chance to play for India even if he is more talented then the ones that play for BCCI (you can find hundreds of Alimuddin in our country). He can play for India if only BCCI decides so. And the money BCCI makes in the game is not India's money, its BCCI's. I am unhappy that the game is controlled by a club, and the club is controlled by politicians.(read the Asian Games controversy when BCCI refused to send a cricket team that we identify as Indian team to Asian Games)
I am happy for Dhoni, happy for the glory he has achieved, happy for the glory he has apparently bestowed on 111 crore Indians. But, I am unhappy for the politicians trying to rub off part of that glory to themselves. I am unhappy that the Indian Railway, which reportedly once rejected Dhoni and refused him a job in the Railways under sports quota, is now offering him passes that he does not possibly need. And it was given real quickly, lest the limelight fades away.
Money is nothing but a gesture through which the politicians try to bask in the reflected glory of the Sportstars.
The final match was reportedly watched by two billion eyes (give or take a few lakhs considering some people have one good eye). When Ravi Shastri announced rupees one crore each for the players and rupees 50 lakhs to others by BCCI, the club was poorer by around 30 crores. If today BCCI has to catch two billion eyes and goodwill of one billion people, it would have shell out more than 100 crores of rupees in advertisements. So, it was a cheap deal for BCCI. Nilakshi would probably know better.
I know people refused to pay money to Mahadeb Deka for his passage to California before he become World Champion in Musle Mania, because he told me that. He had traveled to Delhi by train (possibly would have without reservation if I had not known him)because he wanted to save whatever money he had. The same people had given him gamosa and flowers when he became champion. Can we not become sports lovers instead of champion lovers?
Nothing UNITED INDIA against Sri Lanka more than the day they were CHAMPIONS. Why do we always need someone against us to be united? The cricket world cup has possibly proved one point - we hate Pakistan more than South Africa or Sri Lanka. And I am against such unity where hatred is the foundation.

Basking in reflected glory

Do you remember Abhinav Bindra being awarded rupees ten lakhs by our Chief Minister Tarun Gogoi? Abhinav Bindra possesses a lavish indoor range in the backyard of home, which he uses for shooting practice. He has graduated from the University of Colorado in the United States, with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration. Apart from being a professional shooter, he holds the position of the CEO of Abhinav Futuristics - the sole distributor of Walther arms in India. He is also the Director of Abhinav Hotels & Inns Pvt. Ltd. He has sponsorship tie-ups with some of the renowned brands including Samsung and Sahara Group.
I really doubt if rupees ten lakh was worth anything for Bindra. I also do not know whether he actually got the money from Mr. Gogoi or not. But Mr. Gogoi got publicity worth more than ten lakh rupees. It is, of course, a different issue that Mr. Gogoi hesitated to provide even one lakh rupees to WWF Musle Mania Champion Mahadeb Deka for his passage to the competition.
More recently, the cricket World Cup winners of India have been showered with gifts and awards. Bord of Control for Cricket in Idia (BCCI), the club that employs these players, has announced rupees one crore each to the players, Himachal Government has offered a plot of land to both Dhoni and Tendulakar at Chandigarh, Kartantak Government has offered house in Bangalore to all the players from the state in the winning team and last but not the least, the Railway Ministry has given all the players in the winning team a life-time first class AC travel pass in Indian Railways. So what if the players actually never travel by train and prefer to travel by aeroplanes (preferably chartered)?
The Telegraph today went into elaborate description on how the Railway Minister got the congratulatory letter drafted and typed soon after Indian(?)team's historic win, signed the letter next day early morning and then made sure that the letter reaches Mahendra Singh Dhoni at his hotel in Mumbai by 11 A.M. If only she was equally anxious for passengers wishing to reach their destination on time!
These tamasha of rewarding and awarding the achievers indeed is a very cheap means to bask in reflected glory (pan intended). But, it seems nobody minds as long as it is glorious.

Late night show

We generally call it a day at around 10.30 every night because the kid has to wake up early for school. He does not like to sleep alone and we love to oblige him. Saturday night I was awake till 12.30 surfing through TV channels ostensibly because I could not sleep, but actually hoping to get an eyeful of the "big" attraction in Colors - Pamela at 43.
Of late, Pamela - who has been out of job in her country - has been raising storm in my country. I think anybody would have; if paid 23,000,000 rupees for three days performance. Television and print - both have extensively reported on Pamela and her 'show'and people like me were left exasperated at the thought - why should I be deprived of it when the whole country is getting it?
The Information and Broadcasting Ministry had last week acquired the sudden realisation that Pamela and other actors in the copycat reality TV show 'Big Boss - season 4' are showing vulgarity, obscenity, sexual innuendo and thereby degrading the 'culture' in my country by 'doing' things we apparently do not do.
Please do not get it wrong. The I&B Ministry was not against freedom of expression, but it did not wanted the kids to see all those "big" action. Everything big should be the absolute territory of the adults. So, it ordered Colors to show Pamela (and Big Boss) after 11 P.M. and forced hundreds of others like me to suddenly become insomniac.
The resultant debate on free speech, government control and moral standard has missed a few points. Obscenity and vulgarity are not objective or absolute. Like in nature, change is the norm here. As the size of the Bikini has shrunk in the last 70 years, so is the definition of obscene and vulgar. What is obscene or vulgar is not decided by the performer but decided by the sense of the receptor. It is the consciousness, taste and value system of the receptor that decides the acceptability (or lack of it) of a show. You will not see it if it repulses you, or will be glued to it if you like it - no matter when or where.
Another point that was missed (or left out?)by media is that Indian viewers had a dilemma before the ban - whether to watch Kaun Banega Crorpati in Sony or Big Boss (both had same timings). As a result, the TRP was shared between the two channels. Post ban the problem for both Colors and Sony have been solved. Is I&B Ministry helping Colors in more than one way - first by raising the storm over the issue, attracting eyeballs and telling everyone what Colors is showing. Then by allocating a different time for the Big Boss and helping it (and Sony too) get more TRP. Finally, telling the whole country about the change of timings for the Big Boss show. Otherwise, how many of us would have been aware what Big Boss shows, what Raki Ka Insaf shows and that these shows now starts from 11 P.M. or think about the money Colors would have to spend on advertising just to tell people about it.
It's a win win for all. And a big show of hypocrisy by the entire nation.

Memory

Elliot Giberson of Seattle asked Stephen Hawking "What do you believe happens to our consciousness after death?"
To which Hawking replied - the brain is essentially a computer and consciousness is like a computer programme. It will cease to run when the computer is turned off. Theoritically, it could be re-created on a neural network, but that would be very difficult, as it would require all one's memories.

It's wonderful to think that way, isn't it? Like a computer programme you built up the consciousness over years, leave it in your memory in such a way that when you die the memory can be used to run the programme in some other neural network (another human body)!

I think there is a way to it. Our consciousness programme is written over years with inputs through all the sensory organs. The inputs are derived from the environment that we grow up in. The experiences of others conveyed to us through communication mediums also influence this process of building consciousness. The programme itself keeps on evolving as our consciousness evolves. Finally, we get a programme just before our death.

If we can keep this programme available in communication channels, then it can be used to build another programme in another human being. I think it is happening already. People write books so that others can read them. Your experiences stored in your writing goes into developing consciousness in others. The thought brings euphoria. Thank you Hawking.

To Anonymous

Anonymous left a comment to one of my earlier posts (Every man is an island).
"happiness is like the horizon.. yu can see it ..never reach. while you are in that happy moment, you may not recognize it... buit live life and do things that make you happy.Do you know what makes your wife happy? do you know what makes you happy?"

I find it thrilling to receive anonymous comments,find it exhilarating to the point of being surreal. The comments themselves are not the reasons for my exhilarations, but the realisation that someone I do not know or someone who does not want me to know has thought it important to leave a comment gives me adrenalin shots. In fact, I had written earlier about such an exciting experience in my blog. Dear anonymous, you can read it here.

So, I start here with a big thank you to "Anonymous". That means you have to read on, anonymous. As I just wrote, comments are mostly not the reason for my being overwhelmed; but this time it was an exception.

I am not sure about happiness (that's why I wrote that piece). But, I am sure about it when I feel it. I could not quite convince myself to accept the allegory of happiness being the horizon. I rather think it is like the other side of the river - you can look at it only from the other side. However, you sure can cross the river to reach it. And for that all you need are - will, skill and eyesight. You can learn to be happy, the way you learn not to fall from your bicycle. You just need to look for those little symptoms, faint signals that are precursor to happiness. With some practice, you will be able to forecast when happiness is coming to you. You know, I can feel it right now, because I know once I finish writing this post, I'll be happy.

You can also learn to be happy alone if you fail to have the chance of being happy in other's company, because you hardly have any other option left to you. It is our destiny to avoid being sad or indifferent. Life's dictate is to try to be happy. You learn to be happy alone and you become an island. That's when the danger creeps in. The day you learn to be happy alone you will be encapsulated within yourself. Nobody can ever touch you again.

Dear anonymous, I know what makes me happy. And I also know what makes my wife happy. Will you please tell her that? Or at least tell her to read my posts? That will make me happy.

Buying his first car

As he was tossing and turning on the bed trying to sleep, I realised it will be quite some time before he could sleep. The excitement was too much for him. After all, he has booked the first car of his life - a gleaming white Hyundai Verna CRDi diesel sedan - only a few hours ago. It was the top of the line model that caught his fancy. His mother and I said, so be it and went straight to the car showroom in the evening arriving minutes before it was closing.

I had to take care in arranging everything in advance. Fortunately, I had a friend in the Hyundai showroom whom I had called up last week giving him details of the desire of our son. I also told him that we would come to the showroom on the day after Biswakarma Puja. Thus, everything had been arranged.

It was my friend Aniruddha Deb, the manager of the shop, who greeted us at the door. The actual work was done in five minutes. Deb had pulled out a form and asked my son his name and address. He had carefully written them down in the form and placed it on the windscreen tucked under the wiper of the car my son had chosen. Deb had also given a few piece of paper to our son, apparently acknowledgement of the booking. After that we were offered coffee, which we had, and then we left for home. Simple!

Kabir was toying with the idea of booking the car (the white 2010 model Verna, not the earlier model)for almost one month now. Hyundai has upgraded the earlier model with a new one this year. The new car has a completely refurbished engine, new front design, new headlights and some other cosmetic changes. He used to like the old model too, but according to him the new model was better. Although car companies do not come up with new variant too often, he was apprehensive that Hyundai may bring out another variant of the Verna or may altogether stop production before he can actually arrange the finance to buy it. He realised it would be prudent to immediately book one for himself till he can arrange the money to buy it.

There was nothing wrong with his idea. In fact, I found it perfectly logical. Book the car you want to buy, and then arrange the finance. The only problem I was worried about was that it would be at least 12 more years before he could even apply for a driving license and another five more years before he could actually think of arranging the money to buy it. The predicament for the car company would be that this effectively meant that they will have to book the car and keep it for him for the next 17 years!

Because, as you all probably know, Kabir is only six years old now.

The Wonderful Hues of Sunset

Artists say, that the most vibrant and most diverse hues in nature are seen in the sky and on objects reflecting sunlight only at the sunset. These hues are the most difficult to capture - whether on canvas or with camera. For centuries, it has remained a challenge for artists - painters and photographers - to capture the enormous beauty of the most amazing colours of sun's ray refracting through the stratosphere. Invariably, what you get is a poor replica of what you see. The real scene often eludes you.

Thus, it is almost impossible to show others what you have seen at the sunset. It is always you, and only you, who can see it the way you see it. Is it so then, that the sunset is only yours? In a way, yes. You alone can fathom the unearthly beauty of a gorgeous sunset, see it with your eyes and store it in your mind. So, take time out to see the sunset someday. Otherwise, you will miss something which actually is only for you.

Every man is an island

How does one describe happiness? What makes us feel happy? Can the same thing that makes me happy make you happy too? Does it need efforts to be happy? Is it difficult to be happy?

I was watching a World Cup match at home a few weeks ago. Interestingly, unlike many other women my wife has interest in football. It was an exhilarating and enjoyable match…extremely thrilling football. I wanted my wife to be a company in watching the match. I did tell her to come and watch the match. But, she had other works…other priority. So, it was me alone watching the match. I could have told her how badly I wanted her company, but decided against it.

You must be wondering about my logic! Well, she is another individual. If she has other priorities, it is my responsibility to respect it. It’s not only my want that is important, her desire is equally important too. I know, when she reads this she would say I should have told her. Women are like that. They want to be conquered, vanquished; they want to be told. You will have to tell her that you love her. May be you express it every moment hundred other way, yet she needs spoken confirmation. Nevertheless, I felt happy watching the game. I would have been happier had she given me company. You see, it is not difficult to be happy.

Did you ever felt like me? Did you have ever experienced the frustration when the only desire you have is to talk your heart out, but the person you want to talk to is too busy with other issues. At some point of time every man is an island…. surrounded by a sea of people. But, gradually one learns to enjoy life alone, with himself. The actual problem starts then when all you need to be happy is yourself.

Chota Bhim's 'bada' message

Last Saturday was different from other Saturdays. I had to watch a very popular animation series called Chota Bhim in POGO channel along with my son. It was his favourite show and he wanted company. So, there I was munching popcorns and watching Chota Bhim with my five-year-old son.

For those who have not been initiated yet - Chota (small) Bhim is a character taken out of context from Indian epic Mahabharata. In the animation series, he resides in Dholakpur, which is complete with a King, his subjects and many other popular characters from animation world. The series is a hotchpotch of various popular animation characters taken out of their context and placed in an imaginary yet contemporary kingdom of Dholakpur. For example, trains do ply in Dholakpur where Bhim becomes superman whenever he eats his special Laddo (a kind of sweet). May be because of this highly imaginary yet contemporary touch, children like it most.

This, however, is not the reason why I am writing this post.

The episode that I was watching had an archery competition in the storyline. While the animation characters including Chota Bhim prepares for taking part in the competition, Kalia - one of the characters always in conflict with Chota Bhim - takes out a bow and arrow. I was shocked when Kalia started to to boast his capabilities saying, "maine yeh Dhanush Assam se laya hun, yeh Bhim ko Assam pahucha dega (I have brought this Bow & Arrow from Assam, this will send Bhim to Assam)".

It will be easy for my readers, who are from Assam, to understand my shock. For others, let me explain. Assam is not particularly famous for bows and arrows like deep jungles of Africa. There are four functional airports (one of them being an international one), almost all nooks and corners of Assam have been connected with railways, there are eight national highways running through Assam, there are two central universities and three state universities in Assam, people live in cities, towns & villages wearing clothes (not barks), there are six telecomm companies offering mobile services in Assam (including Blackberries)and the literacy rate of the state is almost equal to the national average.

The fact that I am writing this post in English and posting it over Internet alone may not be convincing enough to allay fears of bow-welding bark-wearing Cannibal roaming around in Assam. But the information provided above should be.

I have nothing to complain about the idiotic ignorance and absolute lack of interest of people of Indian mainland in Assam and Northeast, its people, its geography, history and culture. I also have nothing to say about the greed of this people when it comes to the 10% central fund specifically kept aside for the Northeast.

But, I do feel hot blood rushing through my veins with hatred capable of turning it into venom when I see these morons corrupting thousands of lakhs of young brains around the country with half-backed nonsense like the one propagated through popular animation films like Chota Bhim. Its a different case not knowing, and an altogether different one telling what you do not know.

God

Let me remind you a little story.

Sinbad the Sailor and his companions got marooned on a vast floating island. They were weary and wet and then one of them lighted a little fire. That’s when the ‘island’ rose skywards with a groan. It was a whale. This illustrates the old saying that "the absence of proof isn’t always the proof of absence".

All my life, I have been fiddling with the idea of God. I keep on struggling to define my position vis-s-vis the belief in God. I realised early in my life that I would have problems with God when I refused the request of my first girlfriend to accompany her to a temple. Of course, I do not believe that it is the curse of God that's why she had left me. I am not an atheist, nor am I an agnostic.

It fascinates me when I look at people totally at peace with their Gods. I do not mind people worshipping god or gods. But I do mind if I am forced to pay obeisance to 'their' god. I prefer to be left alone when it comes to worshipping. I would like to decide for myself whom will I worship... a god or a human.

That makes me what? According to what I read in The Economic Times, I am possibly a follower of Possibilianism. Neuroscientist David Eagleman says,"Our ignorance of the cosmos is too vast to commit to atheism, and yet we know too much to commit to a particular religion. A third position, agnosticism, is often an uninteresting stance in which a person simply questions whether his traditional religious story is true or not true." On the other hand, Possibilianism is open to new positions: one that emphasises the exploration of new, unconsidered possibilities. Possibilianism is comfortable holding multiple ideas in mind; it is not interested in committing.

As the saying goes - "the absence of proof isn’t always the proof of absence".

Law of attraction

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." - David Bissonette

One facet of human society on which a lot have been written and spoken is the intense physical and romantic attraction between two persons. I do not want to be drawn into a controversy by qualifying whether between different sex or in the same. The attraction to each other among human being is often being romanticized by expressions like “The infallible chemistry between the two” and “One being fatally drawn to the other” etc.

That chemistry is indeed on play in the game of attraction become known to me only the other day. Apparently, when some chemicals called phenyle-ethylamines are released into our brain, the romantic love blooms. The affect of these chemicals are similar to those mind-expanding drugs which are so addictive. That’s why romantic love is often equated to an addiction. However, the romantic love always dies down as the amount of phenyle-ethylamines released to the brain goes down with age. Apparently, as people grow older this love is replaced by intimate love or nurturing love that blooms over years of proximity, caring and tolerance(?).

Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist, wrote in The Gurdian "I suspect most people would describe being in love as feeling strongly attracted to someone else, as considering another person to be overwhelmingly desirable". She goes on to say that what many of us confuse as love is actually lust driven by some other chemicals called pheromones. Huh! chemistry again.

"When we are madly attracted to someone else, it is because we sense that they would make excelent genetic match, someone who would allow us to produce the strongest and healthiest offspring. Lust is all about the survival of our DNA". What a concocted view of a clinical psychologist!

I think chemicals have their roles to play. But the dominating factor in the game of attracation is not entirely chemistry alone. It is the stimulus that forces the brain to release these chemicals that are more important than the chemicals themselves. I am sure the sunset over river Brahmaputra releases no phenyle-ethylamines, but it might stimulates my brain to release them. I feel ecstacy simply looking at rain. I feel elated watching a good movie and look around for my partner hoping that the movie would have been more enjoyable with my partner by my side. Possibly Linda could explain these in terms of lust and chemicals.

I find human brain more complex to be explained entirely in terms of chemistry!

Chasing a dream

For the last few months, may be quite a few months, I am doing some impossibly passionate, over-enthusiastic and extremely crazy things; things that I would not have done otherwise; not even had thought of doing all my life. But, I am doing them now; why I do not know. Most of the time, I am not even aware of the aberrations, only to realize them later when I get a chance to brood over.

People who know me will vouch for it that I had never been the impulsive type. I have always taken lot of pain to keep remembering that the head rests above the heart. On several occasions the heart wanted to leap above the head traveling apparently through the throat. Writers describe these moments as the heart jumping into the throat. Instances when you get butterflies in the stomach. However, every time such a moment came, till a few months ago, the head eventually ruled.

So, off and on, it occurred to me that it was probably the mid-life crisis that has caught up with me. You know, a feeling like –“Essentials are taken care of, now what?” So, when I noticed a piece on mid-life crisis by Seema Goswami in the Hindustan Times Brunch a few weeks ago, it grabbed my immediate attention. It took me not even ten minutes to finish up the piece reading and I found it interesting.

Seema has a theory on mid-life crisis. She wrote, “it is no so much panic engendered by the thought of what you haven’t achieved (and are unlikely to) halfway through your life. It’s actually angst, kicked off by envy about all that your peers have managed to accomplish in the same period.” She says, midlife crisis is not about how you failed to live the dream you had when you were young, “its about how that joker from the back of the class seems to be living it on your behalf.” Seema’s theory says that the mid-life crisis is triggered by the single vice called envy. Nice generalization, but a generalization only, that is.

It is hard to believe there can be a theory on mid-life crisis, because in its profound prevalence and multitude of manifestation it defies the boundary of a theory. In fact, it cannot be even defined or classified. The awareness of our life begins by nurturing a dream. Some ultimately realizes that dream only to pick up another dream, and a majority of us nurtures the dream throughout our lives, never ever realizing it or not even coming closer to realizing it. The essential elements of these entire dreams are three – money, fame and power. I agree with Seema on that.

You wanted to be famous writer, a famous sports person, a famous somebody. That would have given you money, power and everything else you need. By midlife you realize, the dream slipping away. You suddenly realize you have not done anything worthwhile, noteworthy and you do not have much time left. It is already late to start again. Now you try to achieve an absurd goal, try to score. In your haste you start behaving like another human being. The only thought that preoccupies you is - What to now?

Nothing! The way your life will go on till the end has pretty much being decided already. You have already put a social value system in place, entangled sufficiently with your environment, have already chosen a philosophy of life and not much of these are going to change – may be a little modification will be there, but not drastic change. Yes, you can still have the dream. In fact, you can take up another. And live the rest of your life nurturing it. Who knows, one day you may realize it.